Just recently this month, my husband and I attended a marriage retreat; a much-needed retreat! I learned so much that could help enhance our marriage. I was hoping my husband learned just as much as I did, especially things like considering me first etc. On our way back from the retreat I was very sleepy. To add it was starting to get dark outside. My husband knows I can’t see well at night, however he insisted that I drive first so he could sleep. I thought to myself how selfish he was! However, he still insisted that I drive. As I begin to drive, I started getting upset and thinking to myself, don’t he care? Did he learn anything from the retreat? He woke up 2 hours later when we were almost home. I was very tired by then. He noticed and insisted that I pull over so he could drive. I was still upset and full of pride that I told him ” I got it, we are almost home now.” 15 minutes later I drifted off the road and it scared both of us. He sternly insisted that I pull over right away! Therefore, I reluctantly pulled over.
That night I prayed and as much as I hate to admit it; I was praying how my husband should change. The next day the Holy Spirit revealed to me that it was me that needed changing. I need to change my response to my husband when things don’t go my way. My marriage keeps repeating certain cycles, because I won’t change. I immediately started to pray for God to change me, not my husband. I need to take my hands off the stirring wheel and allow God to drive. I have been treating God like I was treating my husband that night. I been saying that I got it, I can handle it. But all God wanted was for me to cast all my cares on Him. He is in control and he will lead me where I need to go. Whenever I take control and try to handle it, I will always run off the road. He never intended for me to “handle it”. He requires I pray and give him all my concerns! Yes, that includes my husband. My job is to love and respect my husband , no matter what he does or doesn’t do for me. Soon as I repented I felt my peace come back. My prayer from now on, is to change me and my response to my husband when he is not living up to my expectations. God is the only one who can change him. My part is simple…. just to love him!
Verse of meditation: Proverbs 31:30 (NIV)
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.