False Identity

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During my teenage and young adult years I enjoyed going out to night clubs. I was in the club every time the doors open. I would hit the dance floor and dance from the moment I entered the club till they cut the lights on and it was time to leave. Many nights when I left the club, I would leave with my clothes soak and wet from dancing so much. I love to dance so much that I was even part of dance groups. We danced and perform on stages, parks, and birthday parties. To add, the dance moves were very provocative at times and I even wore daisy dukes and other skimpy clothes. All I knew was I wanted to be a dancer and be on somebody’s video and just dance all my life. Everywhere I went I was pumped up to dance even by family members. People would always say “that girl can dance!”

One summer I entered a dance contest at Grant Park. The winner would get $1,000. However, I noticed when the competition started every contestant before me really wanted to win that money. They started taking off their clothes and was dancing naked. Well, I thought to myself that I have on the shortest shorts on already, and I can dance better than them… I’m not taking off my clothes. Well, it was finally my turn to hit the stage. I started dancing and after about one minute of dancing the crowd of men noticed I had not started taking off my clothes, so they started booing me. I felt so embarrassed and walked off the stage. I felt like a failure, shame, and a looser at the same time.

However, I often thank God for that day. I left with my dignity. God used “embarrassment” to deliver me. He knew the thoughts and plans He had for my life already!  He made it work for my good. I had discovered that the enemy tried to tell me who I was before I knew who CHRIST said I am! The enemy told me I was a “dancer” and I was… I just was NOT his dancer.  I was created to dance for Jesus! I call it “false identity.” That was not the real me. The real me was hidden in Christ Jesus.

God said in his word that He knew me before I was formed in my mother’s womb. So therefore, I was with him already in heaven. I learned the wrong me first here on earth.
To conclude, I still dance now, even until I get soak and wet with sweat. However, I just switched dancing partners. I now dance for Jesus!

Thought to ponder:

Satan is a liar and a deceiver! He studies God’s people and trys to get you to learn the wrong “you” first. He doesn’t want you to know the real “you” that is hidden in Christ. To add, God gave us these gifts and talents for His purpose only. They are to be used to glorify His kingdom.
What gifts and talents do you have?
Are you using them to glorify God?

Action to take:

1. Repent and ask God to forgive you for misusing the gifts and talents He gave you.
2. Ask Him to change your desires and appetite for only the things of God.

Verse of meditation:
Jeremiah 1:5 (NLV)
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

Prayer to pray:

Father God thank you for creating me in your own image and likeness. You are a forgiving and “just” God.  Please forgive me for not glorifying you with the gifts and talents you placed in me.  Help me to honor you with my life. Teach me your ways Lord. Help me to live upright. Show me my purpose here on earth and help me to live it out to the fullest!  In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Don’t Give up… You Can Do This!


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This past week has been such a challenge for me. My body went through terrible physical pain. To add, I allowed my spirit to get down as well. It started to feel like the weight of the world was on my shoulders.  Most of the time, I would press my way into my secret place and talk to Jesus. But I found myself just in bed and trying to find the strength to sit up. By Sunday, I was back to feeling better (so I thought).  I woke up around 3am with a terrible cramp (charley horse) in my left calf. The pain rolled over into the next day. It got worse as the day went by. I was given advice from two people on what to do to relieve the pain, and it helped! However, it was only temporary relief. The excruciating pain pushed me into my secret place to pray and talk to God.

After that talk, I thought I would get instant relief.  However, the pain got so bad that I could not make it back to the living room. I started to cry and moan, and just when I was about to fall and give up, the Holy spirit said to me, “don’t give up.. You can do this!” Immediately, I started gaining strength and momentum.  I started saying out of my own mouth “I can do this.  By His stripes I am healed.” Before I knew it, I was back into the living room and seated back comfortably. The Holy Spirit also led me to do some research and I found out that dehydration was the cause of the cramp. That also explained the headaches and dry mouth that I’ve been experiencing lately.

In conclusion, my physical body was shutting down due to the lack of proper hydration. To add, my spirit was too. When the enemy came to attack me with all the physical pain last week, I should have continued feeding my spirit with God’s word and praying. Instead, I allowed myself to yield to the pain and allowed the physical pain to determine if I would keep moving or not.  No matter what, I must stand on his word:
So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. (Galatians 6:9)

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Thought to ponder:

What words have you spoken to your situation(s) today?

Action to take:
A great woman of God reminded me of the power of my own words on last week. She also reiterated how I needed to use them. I would like to use this time to simply tell her THANK YOU!
Don’t make your pain, hurt, or situation bigger than God. The situation may seem big, but remember, Our God is BIGGER! Speak to that mountain and tell it to move!

Verse of meditation:
Acts 20:23-24
I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.

Prayer to pray:
Father God you are my strength. You are a present help in the time of trouble. Forgive me for allowing the troubles of this world to paralyze me. Also, forgive me for not seeking you with all my heart. Lord thank you for your sustaining power. Thank you for destroying every yoke and removing every burden. Father fill me again with your Holy Spirit. Let the same mind that is in Christ also be in me. In JESUS name I pray, Amen.

Insecurities

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After I dressed my son for school, I noticed how cute he looked with his new hair cut. I said, “You are so cute and handsome.” He looked into the mirror while brushing his teeth and replied, “No I’m not. I have big eyes!” I was bothered by his response, and immediately I wanted to know who made him think his eyes were too big. I’ve always felt like his eyes was one of his best physical characteristics.  I looked at him and reminded him how nice his eyes looked. I told him not to complain about himself because God created him in His own image and likeness. We shouldn’t criticize God’s creation. The word says that He fearfully and wonderfully created us (Psalms 139:14).

Later that day, I thought about how cruel kids can be. They don’t realize it hurts when they speak negatively about  others.  I’m reminded when I was a teenager, how I was always picked on. I was considered too skinny.  I weighed 94lbs soak and wet and maybe could fit a size two in high school.  My Bestfriend and I was called “needle and thread.” The student’s comments made me feel insignificant because I didn’t have big buttocks and thighs. Therefore, I always walked around doubting myself and trying to fit in. As I got older I started becoming my own person and started liking myself, but it was from an unhealthy place. Moreover, I thought the insecurities were conquered.

Once I got married, I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with them again, but nevertheless, insecurities came knocking back at the door with an aggression! My husband hurt me  with his infidelities.  It made me start doubting our love, who I was, and I often wondered if I was good enough for him. To add, our intimacy was affected also. It had gotten so bad that I always covered up my body whenever he came around. I thought the less he saw of me the better. I thought my body parts no longer met his expectations.

It wasn’t until I started having a personal relationship with Christ, that I learned what my creator had to say about me. I got into His word, got truth, and stopped believing the lies from the enemy. Jesus says that I am the head and not the tail. I’m above only and not beneath. I am chosen and peculiar. Everything God created is good! My relationship with Christ helped me to learned who I really was. I have the power to speak a thing and will happen, so I started speaking life over myself and casting down thoughts and imaginations. I wrote bible verses in the mirror and quoted them often. I had to get a knowing down in my inward parts. The truth is, my identity is hidden in Christ Jesus. My husband’s actions can’t dictate my value in Christ. To add,  my husband was not my enemy. I was my own enemy. I was the one who beat myself up everyday.  I only believe the lies of the enemy because I lacked spiritual truth.

I thank God that I’m not where I used to be,  but I can’t celebrate too long. I must constantly renew my mind daily. As I continue to grow, the Holy Spirit will reveal to me areas of improvement. In other words, I have not completely arrived yet.  I’m still healing as I go, but one thing is for certain, I have the victory!

Thought to ponder:
Many people hide behind their smile, clothing, makeup, and titles. From the outside looking in, people can’t see the insecurities. I challenge you to examine yourself.
In what areas do you notice that insecurities exist?

Action to take:
1. Don’t compare yourself to others. God made us all different for a reason. You are valuable to him. Remember, He loved you first.

2. Keep your mouth on your team. Don’t say negative things about yourself. Don’t be your own enemy.

3. Love yourself first before you try to love someone else, if not you will only give away your dysfunction and call it love.

Verse of mediation:
Psalms 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Prayer to pray:
Father God you are the truth. You are love. You are the lifter of my head. Forgive me for not loving myself completely. Also, forgive me for complaining about myself. Thank you for loving me first. You loved me when I did not love myself. In the name of Jesus, I speak against insecurities and self hate. I decree and declare that I am healed and whole. I am free in Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Everything Isn’t Garbage

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A couple of days ago my husband was cleaning up and he saw an open pack of weave that I had used. I’ve just finished styling a client’s hair, and he thought the remaining of the weave was trash and needed to be thrown into the garbage.  When he asked me if I needed it I told him yes, but then he looked at me again with uncertainty and asked, “Are you sure?” I responded to him and said “yes, I can still use it.” I know that it looked like trash to him, because he did not see any value in it. To add, he had no use for it either.  However, I often use the remaining weave on my client’s hair as a filler-in, when they do not bring enough weave for me to complete their hair.  Once I’ve finished their hair, I’m compensated and many times I may receive a tip for the extra hair that I provided to my clients.  Therefore, when I get paid, EVERYONE in our house benefits from it.

If we are honest, we sometimes do people this way. We throw them away when we don’t see value in them anymore. We get frustrated with them and believe the lie of the enemy, and think the person will always be a drunk,  drug abuser, cheater, lesbian, gay, promiscuous, or what ever the sin maybe. But the truth is their sin may not be your sin. Most of us was an “ex” something before we came to Christ. God did not give up on us so we can’t give up on them. The truth is, they are NOT garbage. They are God’s masterpiece and His most precious jewel. People may even wanted to throw you away but God said, “No, I can still use her/him. God said in his word:
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.
Before you were born I set you apart
and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

Thought to ponder:
Who have you thrown away or given up on? Did you not see value in them anymore? Did they disappoint you, or hurt you?

Action to take:
Ask God for forgiveness.  Also, ask him for wisdom when dealing with people. There are some people that was not authorized to be in your life to begin with. However, there are some people who are. Therefore, ask God to teach you how to long suffer with the people He authorized to be in your life. To add, win them over with the love of Jesus Christ.  Jesus says in Jeremiah 31:3 that “Therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn thee.”

Verse of mediation:
Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)
We are Gods Masterpiece. He has created us a new in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.

Prayer to pray:
Lord you are the giver of life. You are love. Forgive me for throwing people away that you have authorized to be in my life. Father give me wisdom on how to love like you, Also help me to value what you value. Heal me from the hurt when others gave up on me and counted me out. Help me to forgive them. Thank you for my healing. In Jesus name I pray amen.