Dysfunctional Family

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Growing up in a single parent home can be challenging and uncertain. My mom raised three children on her own.  Our fathers were not around. She was not employed and had to depend on food stamps and Section 8 housing to take care of us. My mom was faced with many challenges trying to figure out how to pay bills and make sure we had necessities. This brought on depression and stress. Next, my mom turned to drugs and they tried to consume her. Although she was faced with many adversities, my mom has always been the strongest, loving hearted woman I know.

As children we had to endure many things. But there was one thing that impacted me the most. Not having a normal Christmas. There were several Christmas mornings that my siblings and I woke up and did not have gifts like the other children. I knew my mom was struggling financially, but as a child I could not wrap my mind around not having Christmas presents. To add, no one really taught me the true meaning of Christmas. I thought this was a day to receive gifts only.

When I got older, I made a vow that when I have children they would NEVER wake up on Christmas day without Christmas gifts. So I did just that. Soon as I became a parent I gave away what I called “love” to my oldest son. I gave him any and everything he wanted plus more. I remember just like it was yesterday. He was four months old on his first Christmas. I had that Christmas tree full of stuff. He even had a toddler bicycle. Now you know that was too much. My baby was not even crawling, how in the world would he be able to ride a bike.

I was giving away my dysfunction and calling it love. I was living out my fantasy childhood through my son. It felt good, but it was not God. I was hurting my son. He grew up ungrateful, greedy, lazy, and rebellious. My feelings was hurt because I did not understand how my son did not appreciate me or the nice things I bought him. I thought he would love me because of the things I was giving him. That was far from the truth. The truth is, my son is now nineteen years old and never knew what it was like to struggle. He thought everything was going to be handed to him. When I stop paying his cell phone bill and giving him so much stuff, he thought I did not love him any more.  The Holy Spirit had to show me that the little girl in me needed to be healed from my childhood. My relationship with Christ has taught me the real reason for Christmas. It’s to celebrate the birth of Christ not my son. He had to teach me to give from a healthy place.  Now my children have a healthier mom. God gave me another chance to get it right.  My seven year old knows at an early age about Jesus and the meaning of Christmas. I thank God for healing and maturity. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, but when I became a man I put away childish things (1 Corinthians 13:11).

Thought to ponder:
What are some areas in your life that are dysfunctional, but you are calling it love?

Action to take:
You don’t have to just be a parent to give away your dysfunction. You could be a wife, sister, mentor, friend ect. Remember, we can do a lot of “Good” things, but are they “God” things. Let’s line our lives up to what the bibles teaches. Ask God to reveal to you the areas in your life that you are not completely healed from. Also, ask for complete healing and wisdom to love the correct way.

Verse to meditate on:
Colossians 3:2
Set your affections on things above, not on things on the earth.

Prayer to pray:
Father you are love. Forgive me for giving away my dysfunction and calling it love. Father I need you. Help me to be the person you created me to be. Heal me from all past hurts and shame. Father God your word declares who the Son sets free is free indeed! So I stand on your word and claim my complete healing today in The name of Jesus, Amen.

Childlike Faith

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Two weeks ago I was walking into the kitchen, and I noticed my six year old standing in a chair jumping towards my husband without warning. My husband instinct was to immediately catch him, and he did. My husband was standing there trying to watch the rest of the sports highlights so after a couple of times of just jumping into mid-air with no warning my husband turned to my son and said, “calm down son. What makes you think I’m going to keep catching you?” Then my son put on the biggest smile and said boldly, “because you my daddy that’s why.” Immediately, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said that’s how I want you to be. Just know that I’m your father and I will catch you! I will never let you hit the ground. God says in his word he wants us to have child like faith. “verily I say to unto you, whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein” Mark 10:14.

Last year in January my husband was in a car accident that caused him to have seizures  just about every week, therefore he was unable to return back to work. His income was cut by 70%. Needless to say, I only work 21 hours a week. God had spoken to us both and told us that no mater what it looked like, He would provide! He did just that! It has been a whole year and God has supernaturally provided for us in ways we would have never imagined! None of our utilities have been turned off, car note and other expenses have been paid.

This month was the first month we did not have all the rent money, but my husband was led by the Holy Spirit to call our landlord . He told her about why he has not been working the past year. She was amazed that we was able to pay all our rent up till now. We have never been late on rent at all. God gave us favor with her. She hung up with my husband and made a phone call to an agency that normally requires you to put in an application for assistance, but the agency told our landlord that she did not need to know my husband name, nevertheless need him to put in an application. The agency said that they was writing a check for a certain amount right now sending to our landlord on our behalf. Also, they will be assisting us for for the next three months and there will be no penalties or late fees. Our landlord is also planing on moving us into a bigger house to meet my growing family needs. Only God can do something so amazing! I thank God that my husband took that leap of faith! We have not because we ask not. (James 4:2) Trusting God has not always been easy, especially when we could not always see a way. We had to walk by faith and not by sight. At times that was scary. But, God was only strengthening our faith and working things out for our good. Thank you Jesus! Praise His mighty name!

Thought to ponder:
When was the last time you let go and completely trusted God?

Action to take:
Many people don’t act in faith because of fear.
Let go of fear. God did not give us the spirit of fear. he gave us power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). Fear is sent by the enemy to paralyze us. Start keeping a journal of all the wonderful things God is doing in your life and all the prayers he has answered. So, the next time that your faith is tested, check God’s record! Also, find scriptures to meditate on to help increase your faith.


Verse to meditate on:
Mark 11:22-23 (NKJV)
So JESUS answered and said to them, “Have Faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, be removed and be cast into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that this things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.

Prayer to pray:
Father God you are Jehovah Jireh, my provider! You are my prince of peace! Forgive me for not trusting you like I should. Thank you for always being there to catch me when I thought I was going to fall. Father God you said in your word that whatever things I ask when I pray, believe that I have received them, and I will have them. So, Lord I pray that you bless me Indeed and enlarge my territory. Keep your hands on me and keep me from evil. It’s in Jesus name I pray, Amen.

 

 

What’s Really Inside of You?

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Have you ever visited a concession stand or football game and was given a beverage in one of those Coca-Cola cups? Sometimes, there is Sprite, lemonade, or water down juice in the cup. The point is, most of the time what’s actually in the cup does not reflect what’s on the outside of the cup.
Many of us are just like that Coca-Cola cup. We appear to be really strong, fearless, and beautiful… But on the inside many of us are bitter, insecure, or hurt. We are nothing like how others perceive us to be. But on the inside we are longing just to be free.

I was this way for a long time in my marriage, due to unforgiveness. When my husband cheated I became  hurt and insecure. I hid it very well, especially at church or at family gatherings. Unfortunately, when I got back in the privacy of my own home, I would let my husband have it! I would call him out of his name, curse him and talk down on him. I would do this just to hear him apologize to me again. The truth was, he could never repay me for all he had done. God was not the head of my marriage, and it reflected. The bible says: A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands (proverbs 14:1). The truth was I was not only tearing my house down, I was breaking my husband down as well.

I had a friend who suggested marriage counseling to us. Although I hesitated to go, I thank God for her pushing me. We later found a church home that God had ordained for us. Honestly, I still deal with some insecurities. God completely healed me from the bitterness and I’m on my way to my complete healing. I now see my husband how God sees him; his masterpiece and the son of the most high God. My marriage never went back to the good old days. It got better than that. God restored it! We are two totally different people who love Christ and are striving to keep him first in our marriage.

Thought to ponder:
Who do you need to forgive?

Action to take:
Forgive those who have hurt, betrayed, or offended you in anyway. Remember that forgivesness is not for the other person. It is for you. Unforgiveness keeps you from growing spiritually and can cause you to stumble. It also opens the door to spiritual sickness such as bitterness, depression, oppression and ect.

Verse to meditate on:
Luke17:4 (NLT)
Even if that person wrong you seven times a day and each time turns again and ask for forgiveness, you must forgive.

Prayer to pray:
Father God you are the lifter up of my head. You are Jehovah Rapha, my healer. Father God forgive me for harboring unforgiveness in my heart. Create in me a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Lord I thank you for my healing in Jesus name! Father God I forgive
(Insert person’s name) and I release them back to you. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

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